More Things To Do in Poetry

After Ron Silliman

You can call me anything, as long as you don't call me late for breakfast.

You can drop me a line anytime, as long as you don't drop me period.

You can kiss my ass, as long as you don't have your teeth in.

You can roll over and play dead, as long as I'm not in the middle.

You can stripe me pink, as long as the other stripes aren't mint-green.

You can blow me down, as long as you don't blow me up.

You can search me, as long as your findings are legal and tender.
 
You can read me the Riot Act, as long as you do it in Croatian.

You can drop dead, as long as you're playing possum.

You can shove it where the sun don't shine, as long as you moon us.

You can quote me, as long as you change my name.

You can conjugate with yourself, but not in Anglo-Saxon.

You can think about it tomorrow, if you'll be O'Hara tonight.

You can take a long walk off a short plank, as long as you don't say "Plash!"